1957

Lost Your Marbles? In the past, there was a News column titled “Inside Dope.” Its slogan was, “Learn to live and laugh, thus delay your epitaph.” Editor and publisher George F. Taubeneck at one time wrote the column.

In the Sept. 2, 1957 issue, a couple of items ran as follows:

I noticed in your “Inside Dope” a request for air conditioning humor. Here’s a good one, we think.

We had an urgent call. The window unit was making “a clattering noise, something bound to be wrong with the motor! Go on in the back door.” Our serviceman found the trouble.

When the customer returned, she found his ticket and five marbles in a neat pile on the table, with this note, “Mrs. —, here are your missing marbles.” Then there was the woman who wanted us to come quick and check her air conditioner. She thought the SULPHUR DRUG HAD ALL LEAKED out.…

I could go on and on.

Ollie Phillips

Phillips Refrigeration

Texarkana, U.S.A.

I begin my reading each Monday with “Inside Dope” and enjoy the anecdotes very much. Your narratives on air conditioning brought one to my mind which might be enjoyed by you and/or anyone else who doesn’t mind “Texas Brags.”

It seems that upon his departure from this world of trials and tribulations, one unquestionably good soul immediately entered the Pearly Gates, where all was smooth and tranquil (apparently no air conditioning problems).

After a while, he became curious about how the folks in the dark region were faring, and requested St. Peter to allow him a few days’ visit to the Inferno. After a couple of weeks, the good saint began to be concerned one had not returned. So Saint Pete elevated him back to Heaven, and asked him why he had remained overlong in such a hot place. The errant’s reply:

“I met several oil men from Texas down there, and they had air conditioned Hell.”

O.B. Faulk

Penn Controls

Goshen, Indiana

1985

Feline Frolics A few years later, John O. Sweet took over “Inside Dope.” Listed under “Groaners of the Week” in the Sept. 2, 1985 issue, ran this item:

The Los Angeles Times ran a story about how a tiny kitten was rescued after spending four days under refrigerated food cases in a La Mirada supermarket. “Ellie in the Deli,” the name employees gave her, was lured out of her hiding place by a chicken wing after the kitten ignored other lures. The headline over the story said, “Kitten Takes Wing — It Was a Purr-fect Rescue.”

Publication date: 09/03/2001